Archive for betrayal

Calvinist No More

Posted in Christianity with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 27, 2010 by julietsm

I once considered myself a Calvinist, and in many regards I still do.  I can no longer align myself with many of the others who call themselves ‘Calvinists’ for many reasons, though.

Do I believe in the absolute depravity of men?  I do.  I was in an accident in March, during which I wiped out of my motorbike during rush hour on a busy street.  Did any of the hundreds of cars going by call 911?  They did not.  Someone did stop, finding me in a pool of my own blood and you know what they did?  They took everything of value on my person, including my I.D., my cash, my phone, my jewelry, my boots and leather coat, in fact, the only reason they didn’t take my motorbike was because once on it’s side, one has to know the several tricks required to make it start up again.  I do not mention this so you can say “Oh, poor Juliet”.  Not at all.  And really, it should not have surprised me, either.  But here is a good example of the depravity of men.  The only reason I did not die in the street is because my Lord made sure that a Fire Rescue truck just ‘happened’ to be going by at the time, saw me, and took me to hospital where I remained in a coma for several days.  I didn’t remember any of it; but I knew without being told when I awakened that everything of value I had was gone.  No surprise there.  Like I said, too, I should not have been surprised at any of it.  But here is a clear example of how people without God function in the world.  Just as the Good Samaritan stopped and rendered aid to the poor man who had been robbed and beaten, the bad Samaritans did what comes naturally to them.  They took whatever they could and left me, presumably to die.

So there in that little tale lies the heart of the matter.  Without the new life, man is depraved.  He will do what comes naturally to him.  Just as the one who possesses the new life will do what the new nature enables him to do.  Had a true child of God come upon me, undoubtedly they would have taken my body from the middle of the street, called 911, and most likely would have waited until aid arrived.

Most, if not all of the Calvinist’s I know would say that this was ordained by God.  They way I see it, God rescued me.  He made sure that I was close to a red light and not zooming along when I had my petit mal seizure which is what I believe caused the accident, as I have had them in the past.  He also made certain that there would be help arriving, so I would not die in the road.  If God had wanted to take me then, of course He could have done so.  He did not.  I am still not certain why this happened, (it could just easily be the sort of thing that happens in a fallen world every day) but I just don’t believe that God ‘made it happen’.  I believe that God uses evil for His purposes, but not that he is the Author of it.  Calvinists don’t see it like that, and if you dare to disagree with them, you will soon find yourself an enemy, or they will tell you that you cannot possibly be saved unless you agree.

I don’t see what the point of a world where God is the cause of everything could possibly be.  If He is just the Puppetmaster, than really the whole thing becomes absurd.  On the other hand, I do believe there are many things which are not given to man to know.  How could we know what God knows?  We are not God.

Truly, God knows the end from the beginning.  This does not mean, however, that we are merely puppets and are acting out a script which He has written in the minutest detail.  If this were so, then I  surely do not know God!

And yet, I do.  He has shown me the utmost kindness and love from the time of my childhood.  He has told me things, taught me things, and has saved my life on more than one occasion.

If you read the article which Bookmyar wrote, I am sure you can understand why I am divorcing myself from the Calvinist community on the internet.  These are some of the most unloving and unkind people I have known.  (I don’t mean all of them, either…  I have met some amazing Christians whose doctrine I believe to be sound, and yet you will never hear them glorying in the judgements of God with nary a word of His lovingkindness and grace.  Quite the opposite, in fact.)

No, God is not the Author of Evil.  If He were, He would be the devil wouldn’t He?  God is love, pure love, and while He is also perfectly just it does not give Him pleasure to have little children raped nor does He plan for that.  He may permit it to happen for His own reasons, which clearly have not been given us to know, but I can assure that if you look at Christ in the gospels, you will find the most loving and kind and sinless man/God.  Why is Jesus so beloved after millennia?  Because of His wondrous love and sweetness.

Mind you, because I have no doctorates in theology and am just a layman, those who do will read my words and think what an ignorant little girl I must be.

And so how do you account for all the illiterate people who have been saved?  I daresay they were not Calvinists, they could not even read the Bible!  God saves those He has compassion upon, and mercy on whom He has mercy on.  I trust that whatever God does, it is going to be perfect as He is perfect.

I don’t know about you, but my God does not have little children raped.

He does chastise His children, and the wrath of abides upon the unsaved, and yet “All things work together for good with them that are called by God according to His purposes”.  I don’t understand these Calvinists.

Jesus told us to be like little children; to trust Him the way a child trusts.  That is exactly what I am going to do.  I am not going to wrack up doctorates and think myself superior to those who do not have their knowledge.  I am going to continue to read and study the Word of God and pray for growth.  To be more loving, more forgiving, and more like our Lord and Saviour.

I am sorry, but trying to picture Jesus ordering one of the disciples to go and ‘rape that child for his sins’ is not in my abilities.

God is good.  In Him is no darkness or shadow of turning.

I may not understand a lot of things, but the one thing I do understand  is that God has preserved me, He has saved my life repeatedly, He has taught me all of the good things I know.  I could never have survived in this world without Him.

God does not ‘ordain’ torture and rape and murder’!  If He did, what would make Him someone we should love and worship?

Shame on those of you who would think such a vile thing!  His eyes are too pure to even behold evil, much less be the mastermind of it!



I am Not an ‘Actor’.

Posted in Christianity, Reformed Doctrine with tags , , , , , on December 22, 2009 by julietsm

I have not been spending as much time on the internet as I once did.  There is a reason for this.  I have had my name maligned publically and secretly and the people who have done this to me know who they are.  I refuse to become hostile and bitter towards those who are doing their best to hurt me.

I can only say this: How do you do it?  How do you lie about me and try to hurt me when I have done nothing to you?

I can say in all honesty that I have never set out to hurt anyone, and would never do so.  There may have been people who I have taken off my list of friends and with whom I want nothing to do, but their retaliating by publically lying about me only reinforces that I did the right thing by so doing.

I am going to keep this short and sweet.  I love the brethren.  ALL OF THE BRETHREN.  On the other hand, I would be lying if I said that I like all of the brethren.  But I can honestly say that I wish no ill to any of you, and in fact I wish only the best for all of you.  I am not the sort of person that delights in seeing others suffer, nor would I ever be the cause of it, at least not knowingly.  There have been times when I had to hurt someone’s feelings, but I didn’t go behind their backs but dealt with it head on. 

…And for those of you who have believed lies that were told about me, all I can say is that my conscience is clear.  I haven’t ‘conspired’ against anyone.  I haven’t ‘spread lies’ about anyone.  And yet you write about me in your blogs, using my name, and charging me and finding me guilty of imagined crimes in your kangaroo courts?

Shame on you!

There is nothing hidden before God.  You should know that.

Sorry to have bored my readers with this when the vast majority of you are not those to whom this is addressed.  However, it has been bothering me because these people think nothing of trashing my name and accusing me of things that aren’t true.

Thank God He is always watching…  He has always protected me, always loved me, and always knows what is in my heart and mind.  And I can tell you, I do not hate anyone, including these people of whom I speak.  I am just saddened that professing Christians would act in such an unchristian manner.

I pray for them; I really do.


*There is something wrong.  The last two articles I have written have a paragraph missing, and I have tried every way possible to fix the problem.  Please bear with me until I have figured out what is wrong.


Youtube: Dangerous?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on October 20, 2009 by julietsm

seriousjuliet2Something which took me quite by surprise has happened on Youtube, which really shouldn’t surprise me at all.  When first I became aware of Youtube, I thought of it as a place where people posted videos intended to humiliate the targeted person.  How right I was…

I certainly didn’t expect to see it in the Christian community, however.  Now that did surprise me, although it shouldn’t have.  Even after conversion to Christianity we are falleable, and the root of sin never is completely excised, so what should I expect from a young man who is a recent convert?  His father ordained him in his church, despite the fact that it is clear in the Word that a ‘recent convert should not preach’.  Here is a horror story about just how dangerous Youtube can be in the hands of someone who may not have your best interests at heart.

There is a pastor on Youtube whose ministry I have followed for a couple of years.  I thought he was good, despite having some idiosyncrasies which some might find off-putting.  I learned not to take notice of such things, and look deeper.  It got to a point where I was certain that he was a believer in the Doctrines of Grace, so I risked our friendship over it…  I sent him several videos and personal messages, and he was very reluctant to even look into the Doctrines.  Eventually he did, and so did his son.  All at once he became an ‘expert’ on Calvinism, and it didn’t take long before he recanted, because he was not the expert he professed to be.  You see, this young man was in competition with his father over subscribers, to the point where he actually found a way to post phony subs to his channel.  There were pages and pages of them, and when he confronted me about why I would not sub his channel I first explained that I was aware of what he had done.  At first he denied it, of course, but I did finally get him to admit it.

As things turned out, his father had fallen into sin, and he took this occasion to broadcast for all the world to see what his own father had done.  He went into great detail, and I was absolutely horrified that anyone could turn on their own father.  Mind you, I am not condoning sin, but neither will I condone someone posting another person’s sins (particularly his own father’s) for the world of Youtube to devour like a Jerry Springer show.  I was appalled.

Many people took the young man’s side, but I am loyal to my friends, and especially if they have fallen into sin.  What would Christendom be like if we immediately rejected someone who had done so?  We have all done it!

But most of us have not had to live through the horror of seeing our sins posted on Youtube.

I still can’t wrap my head around this one.  He has always competed with his father, and I am convinced that he is thrilled that he has now gotten the competition out of the way.

 For shame.

The worst of it is his sudden turn-around, “now i am a Calvinist now I am not”.  How can we take somone seriously who changes their minds about theology from one day to the next?  I certainly can’t.  …And particularly now that he has taken advantage of the opportunity to humiliate his father before the world.

Someday maybe someone will post HIS sins for the world to see on Youtube.  We shall see how he takes it.  Frankly, I think the boy would commit suicide, because for him the opinions of others is everything.

I am glad I never subbed him.  If he would betray his own father this way, what would he do to a ‘friend’?

Just remember, big guy, your every thought and deed is known by our Lord, who knows all.  I am willing to bet that he is not particularly happy with your actions right now.