Archive for public statement of repentance

I Repent

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on June 21, 2009 by julietsm

24322-thumbnailI have greatly wronged my sister in Christ, and I am here to set things aright.

I met a girl whose username is 8Anya8, a lovely woman in Christ with whom I connected instantly, due to bonds we share which are very deep and special to us.  I became close to her very quickly.

I think everyone who is familiar with me and my blog knows all about the unfortunate situation created by TicToc’s video, and due to a series of unfortunate events in which nobody was completely blameless, I became paranoid and thought that Anya had been sent by the ‘enemy’ camp to spy on me.  Circumstancially I had every right to think this way, but this is not the Christian way.  When we feel we have been wronged by our Christian brother or sister we are to go to them privately and discuss the matter as the first attempt at rectifying the situation.  Had I done so, I am certain that Anya could have satisfied my mind that she was not a spy and was in fact, only trying to make peace between the two groups. 

What can I say?  I did not do things correctly.  I did not do things the Christian way.  I publically spoke of what I believed the case to be.  I was very cold to Anya, who is someone I dearly love and with whom I have since been reconciled.  After a couple of days of treating her this way (that is, by publically speaking out about what I thought had transpired; that I thought she was spying for TicToc as some sort of double agent…  It did look that way, but things are not always how they appear!) my spirit began to trouble me, and I could not find any peace.  I began to focus on the situation and then, to my horror, realised that I had treated Anya as the world treats one another.  This was too much!  I immedately called her, and to her credit, she accepted my apology immediately.

I learned a lot from this experience.  First, never publically deal with the brethren in private matters, no matter how strong the evidence might be that they have wronged you.   Even the world is supposed to treat each other as though they are ‘innocent until proven guilty’!  What I did was far worse!  I spoke as though it was a foregone conclusion, I acted as though I knew exactly what happened, judging by circumstancial evidence which can sometimes look as though it is signed, sealed, and delivered, but no matter what, we are not of the world and should have far higher standards than they do.

Anya, I am ashamed.  You have been nothing but a most excellent friend to me.  Your motives with TicToc were pure, you were trying to bring peace.  And “Blessed are the peacemakers.”  Admittedly, you should have told me what you were planning to do and if you had all of this could have been avoided, so I think we both learned something.  However, you did nothing wrong, whereas my sin is most greivous.  Especially considering the bond we share, and the fact that I did what I said I would never do, and what has been done to both of us plenty of times.

I know you forgive me, because the matter has been settled between us.  You are a godly woman and I am most proud to be your friend.  But here, and for the record, I want to ask your forgiveness.  I wronged you terribly.  I did what must never be done between the brethren, and most particularly between close friends!  I have nothing to justify what I did.  I sinned against you.  I am heartbroken over my own sinfulness.

I love you so much and I hope you know that I have learned a very important lesson from this.  Never again will I jump to conclusions nor will I ever publically deal with matters that are meant to be dealt with privately and in love.

I do not deserve your freindship!  You are a far better Christian than I.  May God bless you to the fullest measure, my beloved sister, in all things, forever.  I pray that you will always be my little sister in more than just fact, but in my heart and yours.